We are six days into our move. Despite being a bit under the weather, we have accomplished quite a bit...I've painted a few walls and started setting up the kitchen. With just a bit of help from my kids, we've moved most of the big furniture...our bed, living room furniture, dining room table...still some dressers to move and lots and lots of little stuff...and then there will be cleaning!
I've been going up and down between the 5th floor and the 1st, moving a cart full at a time. To say I'm exhausted is an understatement.
I was doing fairly well until last night when I hit a wall...the fatigue, the sense of overwhelm hit me like a ton of bricks. At the end of the night, I soothed my aching body by soaking in a hot bath and had a good cry. I needed that release.
It wasn't just the move overwhelming me. It's all the uncertainty in my life. Whether you do it consciously or not, the new year seems like a natural time to reflect on the past year and then look forward. I always do this through some journaling and sometimes some visual work. Because of the move, I've been putting this off, but the brain works anyways...
In many ways, I am ready to put 2010 far behind me. It was marked by the BIG event of my layoff last May. Unfortunately I am still feeling the impact of that event, as I am still unemployed and have not gotten any positive response from any of the applications I have submitted. When I am tired and feeling discouraged, I start doubting myself. My self-worth took a serious hit last year.
But I have been determined not to let this single event define me or my life. I have worked very hard to seize this change in my life as an opportunity more than a tragedy. I'm not saying that I am successful at this each day. I have had my fair share of moments like last night when I feel overwhelmed by my losses and the uncertainty of the future seems so daunting that I can't help but give in to a bout of despair.
But generally after a good night's sleep, I am ready to forge ahead. The new year brings with it many exciting possibilities. We are starting our year in a new home that already feels just that...home. And on the artist front...I am beginning the WARM mentor program and looking forward to not just dreaming about new artistic opportunities, but making them happen.
In the end, none of us really know what the future holds. There will always be bumps in the road and the unexpected flat tire that sidelines us for a while. But the key is to keep rolling along, making the best of difficult situations and being open to new, unexpected possibilities.
So with that, I am wishing for all of us a peaceful, productive and joyous 2011. Let's make the most of it.
Here's a sneak peek of our move in progress, starting with the kitchen, aka "Command Central"--
The living room--
And my studio, waiting to be unpacked--
Now back to moving...