Friday, April 30, 2010

Beware of fortune cookies!

When I cracked open my fortune cookie following dinner tonight, the above was my fortune! I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud.

You see, today I was laid off from my job.

I'm not going to lie to you, it's been a very difficult day. Even though I was prepared for the possibility, the reality of being laid off hit me like a ton of bricks. 

Everyone was to report to work this morning by 8:45 a.m. When we arrived, we each had an envelope in our personal mailbox. The envelope contained a note either telling us that we should report to a 12:30 meeting to discuss program changes or that we had a individual morning meeting scheduled to discuss a job change (code for: layoff). Unfortunately, my envelope contained the latter.

We're a small office, so word spread like wildfire. By 9 a.m. everyone knew just which letter you got. It got sort of weird then--at least for me. For all of us, I guess. If you were one of the group with a morning meeting, you definitely felt everyone looking at you with...well, it was awkward. I wanted to disappear. 

My meeting was scheduled for 10 a.m. There was a possibility of a reduction in hours, but I, like 3 others, got a full layoff. I don't really feel like re-hashing all the details...but it was one of the hardest meetings I've ever had. Harder even because I truly like my supervisors. And I like where I work.

Afterwards, I spent a few moments with folks who are soon-to-be ex-co-workers, but truthfully, more like family and friends. There will be time later to support and comfort one another. I had hubby drive me to work today...and he was thankfully waiting nearby to take me home.

I will still be working for 3 weeks. I'm not sure what those 3 weeks will feel like--I can't quite imagine it. I'm going to take this weekend to lay low and sort of it let it soak in. I need to catch my breath.

I know there will be more grief...for the job I am losing, for my friends that are also leaving and for how my agency is being forced to change. Truth is, I know it will not be easy for the team of folks that are left behind to carry on. I wish them well and I hope that the changes work for them and for Southside.

And in the coming weeks, I will be working on being open to and accepting the changes that will be coming my way. There will be hard days. But I think there will also be new and exciting opportunities. It's not easy stepping into the unknown. 

I hope to do so with grace.


Pat said...

Your blog post about your lay off was done with such grace that I am sure you will manage the step into the unknown equally well.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. xx

Susan said...

You seem to be dealing with it ok. and you know what they say about when one door closes, a window opens.
keep a good thought and apply for unemployment, take some time before job hunting, to soul search and see what it is you want to may be thinking about a career change or some college courses. But whatever, you need some time to just be you, and think about what to let unemployment carry some of your load for a while! :)
I wish the best for you and your family.

I was hurt on the job in 2005, and am now 100% disabled. I went from making 50K a year to get 1K a month from SS... it sucks...I am right there with you.

Diane said...

Yes, everything is for a reason, and when it happens, you'll know why.

Kristeena Crabb said...

Oh, Risa. I'm so sorry to hear this. But you do everything with such grace and I know in my heart that this will lead you to a better place. Because you led off with the fortune from your cookie it's easy to see that you sense of humor is still intact and that will hold you in good stead in the 3 gloomy weeks ahead.


pinkglitterfae said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know you were prepared, but it still will hurt. Just know that everything happens for a reason, and this may turn out to be a blessing for you. Unfortunately in this climate, you are not alone. Too many people have had to go through this the last few years. Know that you will be ok in the end.

simplydelicious said...

Your layoff will be a blessing! It will offer you the time to paint or reassess your life and decide what you really want to do! Best Blessings to you!!